Moral Inventory
Each human being is apt to have trauma, addiction and/or pain blockers that prohibit them from performing at their best and yielding success from their projects, goals or actions. As you assess yourself or the individual via Personality Profile, Fear/Resentment inventory, Fantasy purpose, Assets and Skills you will begin to note disruptions in thinking and behavior. At times the appearance of these small kinks in the life process are simply personality or habit traits that have developed over of a life time of poor demonstration and skill transfer from dysfunctional family environments but if pervasive trauma or massive affect has occurred to one or more of the instincts you could see addiction, defective assets, or rampant fear has possessed the individual like a vice.
We will need to address these items. The process for delving deeper into specific regions within self that may require a specific type of coaching to recover should be identified before you attempt to put anyone into an experience that has a high likely hood of failure. This isn’t always the case, but broken habits or issues should be sifted out early.
Trauma - Pervasive Trauma
John Bradshaw PHD wrote a book titled: The Homecoming. In this book he discusses the broken behavior that can arise from childhood trauma. We suggest that you pick up a copy and become familiar with the trauma time line and various types of childhood restoration suggestions that he makes. Wayne Johnson, Regression Life Coach, is one of the top Trauma Reinterpretation experts in the country and has a stacked client load conducting trauma coaching work. His adaption of the trauma release process is revolutionary and in our Trauma Coaching Module we allow him to teach us all the process of removing the scars of past severe pain or hurt. At this juncture we are simply looking to see if we have trauma to deal with.
Trauma — When a child experiences a significant event that contains extreme emotion, which can be positive and/or negative. There is a “freezing-in-time” of the child’s personality, called the emotional child.
Points of Impact — When the freezing of a child’s personality takes place, there will be one or more main occurrences within the particular trauma that called points of impact. These points of impact are important because they serve as reference points for the adult client, where they can best recall the physical, affective and cognitive processes associated with the event. Depending on the combination and multiplicity of these points of impact within each event or series of events, they can serve to spot-weld (so to speak) the event internally (as further illustrated in the Floodgate Effect definition below).
Floodgate Effect — While irrigating a field of alfalfa, you don’t spoon the water out when you’re done. You lift each successive flood gate and the water naturally flows out. So it is with a pervasive trauma. To heal an emotional child who was physically abused over a period of five years, you don’t have to relive every moment of every day the trauma was experienced. You can simply pick a handful of points of impact, or flood gates, along the continuum of the pervasive trauma. When you heal these points, the rest of the trauma (water) can flow away.
Epistemology — The unique process of how each of us knows how we will know something. The emotional child’s epistemology is formed by the three related aspects of memory that are frozen-in-time at the time of trauma: the emotional, intellectual and physical memory of the event. This information allows us to access and heal ourselves according to the specific epistemology held by each of our emotional children. By performing regressive work and accessing these three specific types of memory linked to an event, we (1) validate and gain the trust of those emotional children, (2) clear the trauma associated with the respective events, and (3) bond and attach the children back to our adult-self.
Chaining of Events — When a past unresolved childhood trauma holds attributes that are similar to a current trauma, the unfinished residue (or three types of memory) of the old trauma are often triggered and played out within the context of the current similar trauma. This may also be referred to as a “domino-effect” or chain reaction of events.
Monster Baby — When we experience a chaining of events (as described above) where an unresolved emotional child is triggered by a current event, we may suddenly feel like our whole being is a destroyed six-year-old, when in fact, it is only part of us. The feelings are monstrous, but not the baby (emotional child). One indicator that you may be experiencing the feelings of a “monster baby” is when you realize your reaction to a current situation goes far beyond what would generally be expected.
Guardian Child — In some cases, there is one emotional child who becomes the surrogate parent to the other children within us. This particular emotional child assumes the parent role because he or she does not trust our adult-self to be in charge of these children. This is because of the real or perceived abandonment of the adult(s) in his/her life at the time of trauma. The guardian child “directs traffic,” as he/she determines what amount of attention is given to each of the other emotional children vying for power in this internal struggle.
Regressive Work — The process of using self-hypnosis (deep relaxation) to go back to a previous state or place in time. Visualization exercises allow us to access our emotional children and their individual epistemologies so we can perform the regressive work and bonding/attachment work that will allow us to heal ourselves. The individual is always in charge of this process and can be seen as the producer, director, editor and actor of their own internal film.
Bonding and Attachment Exercises — Visualization exercises that reattach an un-bonded or unattached emotional child to its emotional parent. In other words, you would be the emotional parent who lovingly bonds and reattaches your emotional children back to yourself during self-hypnosis (regressive work).
Self-Parenting — The act of taking responsibility for and caring for each of our emotional children. For example, when I discovered my little 1 ½ year old who was going into surgery, I (my adult-self) held, comforted and parented my own distraught toddler. If my guardian child had been parenting this toddler, he would have done what he’d always done – kept the little child from being heard by me, the adult.
The Wizard of Oz Syndrome — When we pretend that we are the great Oz in a variety of deceptive ways. If you look behind the curtain, you may find a very frightened six-year-old. For example, after I experienced wetting my pants in the first grade, I became terrified to do anything in front of groups, such as teaching class or giving a talk. One day my mentor Larry left me in charge of group therapy for the first time. A young man confronted me, telling me there was something wrong with me. I passed out. Why? Because this young man looked behind the curtain, exposing my emotionally fragile six-year-old.
Multiple Emotional Child Paradigm — Because most people will experience multiple traumatic events throughout their childhood, there will be more than one developmental stage impacted and “frozen” by trauma. Hence, the various emotional children attached to each trauma are born. The idea is to reattach these children to their rightful emotional parent (you), so they are no longer bound to these traumatic experiences. If successful in this effort, there will no longer be a chaining of events that occurs when a current trauma resembles a past trauma, because the emotional child is no longer stuck developmentally in the past, but rather has re-integrated with the adult-self, having cleared the effects of the past trauma and abandonment.
These are important definitions of the internal process affect of past childhood trauma. As we move into adulthood the nature of our perspective and actions are completely altered. We believe we are moving in the same world as the rest of the humans around us, but the truth is that we are not. The dark hallway is a cauldron of ghosts and bad things lurking to a 5 year old, so just imagine what a 38 year old (5 year old) thinks of taxes or divorce or judgement from others. If our young hurt children come to the surface to manage our lives the vehicle goes off the road and then we ask ourselves, “How did this happen...again?” Familiarize yourself with the definitions and the affects of trauma for the time being. In the supplement Trauma Coach we will go into the clearing routine and arm you with the technique to encourage change, but for now we just want to know if we have trauma lurking in the shadows and how much of it is affecting our client’s perspective.
The Trauma Time Line
Each of these tests are designed to look for behavior that signals past trauma that has occurred at a specific age. Note the emotional growth that was supposed to occur in each phase of child development and then note that trauma (especially pervasive trauma) would disrupt or affect the nature of those strengths. If you suspect past trauma then have you should conduct a trauma evaluation and then a trauma time line. If the individual answers yes 3-4 times in a particular section we have signs of trauma. More suggests pervasive trauma and if their life line is ripe with pervasive trauma we have a lot of important work to do. Honesty is important, so encourage all to be sincere. There is no shame in trauma. We didn’t do this to ourselves. It happened to us, like a car crash. But, if we know of its existence then we can repair the damage and become the humans we were meant to be.
Infant Trauma Test
(Symbiotic Bonding)
I AM YOU
Age: 0 – 9 Months
Developmental Polarity: Basic Trust vs. Mistrust
Ego Strength: HOPE
Power: BEING
Relationship Issue: Healthy Narcissism; Co-Dependence
Do you have, or have you had in the past, an ingestive addiction (e.g., overeating, over drinking, or over drugging)?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have trouble trusting your ability to get your needs met? Do you believe you must find someone to meet them for you?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you find it hard to trust other people? Do you feel you must be in control at all times?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you fail to recognize body signals of physical need? For example, do you eat when you’re hungry? Or are you often not aware how tired you are?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you neglect your physical needs? Do you ignore good nutrition or fail to get enough exercise? Do you go to a doctor or dentist only in an emergency?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have deep fears of abandonment? Do you feel, or have you ever felt, desperate because a love relationship ended?
Yes ____ No ____
Have you ever considered suicide because a love relationship has ended (e.g., your lover has left you or your spouse filed for a divorce)?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you often feel that you don’t truly fit in or belong anywhere? Do you feel that people don’t really welcome you or want your presence?
Yes ____ No ____
In social situations, do you try to be invisible so that no one will notice you?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you try to be so helpful (even indispensable) in your love relationships that the other person (friend, lover, spouse, child, parent) cannot leave you?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have great needs to be touched and held? (This is often manifested by your needing to touch or hug others often without asking them.)
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have a continual and obsessive need to be valued and esteemed?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you often biting and sarcastic to others?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you isolate yourself and stay alone a lot of the time? Do you often feel it’s not worth trying to have a relationship?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you often gullible? Do you accept others’ opinions or “swallow things whole” without thinking them through?
Yes ____ No ____
The infant requires on parents and guardians for all needs. If Mom or Dad were slow to support, rough or not available, baby could have sat wet and cold, hungry or lonely etc. This would have caused baby to feel that they can’t trust others to care for her, or perhaps the long term affect would stop feeling a sense of hope in the future due to unmet expectations. This would be very deep seeded. We are not raising a baby, we are making an adult and developing her perspective of her world with every action.
Toddler Trauma Test
(Oppositional Bonding)
I AM ME
Age: 9 Mos. – 18 Mos. (Exploratory Stage)
Age: 18 Mos. – 3 Yrs. (Separation Stage)
Developmental Polarity: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
Ego Strength: WILL POWER
Power: SENSING, DOING
Relationship Issue: Psychological Birth; Counter-Dependence
Do you have trouble knowing what you want?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you afraid to explore when you go to a new place?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you afraid to try out new experiences? If you do try them, do you always wait until someone else has tried first?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have great fears of abandonment?
Yes ____ No ____
In difficult situations, do you long for someone to tell you what to do?
Yes ____ No ____
If someone gives you a suggestion, do you feel you ought to follow it?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have trouble actually being in your experience? (e.g., when you’re on vacation looking at an exciting sight, are you worrying about the tour bus leaving without you?)
Yes ____ No ____
Are you a big worrier?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have trouble being spontaneous? For example, would you be embarrassed to sing in front of a group of people just because you were happy?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you find yourself in frequent conflicts with people in authority?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you often accused of being stingy with money, love, showing emotions, or affection?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you tend to be obsessive about neatness and cleanliness?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you fear anger in other people? In yourself?
Yes ____ No ____
Will you do almost anything to avoid conflict?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you feel guilty when you say no to someone?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you avoid saying no directly, but often refuse to do what you’ve said you would in a variety of indirectly manipulative and passive ways?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you sometimes “go berserk” and inappropriately let go of all control?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you often excessively critical of other people?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you act nice to people when you’re with them and then gossip about and criticize them when they go away?
Yes ____ No ____
When you achieve success, do you have trouble enjoying or even believing in your accomplishments?
Yes ____ No ____
Our small toddler is learning to explore his world and begin the process of taking small responsibility in his world. Disruption in this phase of development will affect his autonomy and will power. “I can’t do that” or “I don’t know how” will become the new internal dialog. Shame rather than self esteem will develop.
Pre-School Trauma Test
(Early Identity)
I AM SOMEONE: Male/Female
Age: 3 Yrs. – 6 Yrs.
Development Polarity: Initiative vs. Guilt
Ego Strength: PURPOSE
Power: IMAGING, FEELING
Relationship Issue: Independence
Do you have severe identity problems? To aid you in answering this, consider the following questions. Who are you? Does an answer come easily? No matter what your sexual preference, do you feel like you’re really a man? A woman? Do you over dramatize your sex (e.g., try to be macho or sexy)?
Yes ____ No ____
Even when you have sex in a legitimate context, do you feel guilty?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have trouble identifying what you are feeling at any given moment?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have communication problems with the people you are close to (e.g., spouse, children, boss, or friends)?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you try to control your feelings most of the time?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you cry when you are angry?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you rage when you are scared or hurt?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have trouble expressing your feelings?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you try to control the feelings of those around you?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you believe that you are responsible for other people’s behavior or feelings? For example, do you feel that you can MAKE someone sad or angry? Or, do you feel guilty for what has happened to your family members?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you believe that if you just behave a certain way, you can change another person?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you believe that wishing or feeling something can make it come true?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you often accept confusing messages and inconsistent communication without asking for clarification?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you act on guesses and unchecked assumptions, treating them as actual information?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you feel responsible for your parents’ marital problems or divorce?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you strive for success so that your parents can feel good about themselves?
Yes ____ No ____
Why can’t your client get out of bed? Get moving? Why do they feel a sense of guilt or procrastination? This phase of development could have been disrupted. It will be difficult to inject a sense of purpose or value in their constitution if they have trauma at this point of childhood.
6-Years to Puberty Trauma Test
(Latency Period)
I AM CAPABLE
Age: 6 Years – Puberty
Developing Polarity: Industry vs. Inferiority
Ego Strength: COMPETENCE
Power: KNOWING, LEARNING
Relationship Issue: Interdependence; Cooperation
Do you often compare yourself to other people and find yourself inferior?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you wish you had more good friends of both sexes?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you frequently feel uncomfortable in social situations?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you feel uncomfortable being part of a group? Do you feel most comfortable when you are alone?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you sometimes told that you are excessively competitive? Do you feel like you must win?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have frequent conflicts with the people you work with? Or with the people in your family?
Yes ____ No ____
In negotiations, do you either (a) give in completely or (b) insist on having things your own way?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you pride yourself on being strict and literal, following the letter of the law?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you procrastinate a lot?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have trouble finishing things?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you believe you should know how to do things without instructions?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you have intense fears about making a mistake? Do you experience severe humiliation if you are forced to look at your own mistakes?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you frequently feel angry and critical of others?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you deficient in basic life skills (ability to read, ability to speak and/or write with good grammar, ability to do necessary math calculations)?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you spend lots of time obsessing on and/or analyzing what someone has said to you?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you feel ugly and inferior? If yes, do you try to hide it with clothes, things, money, or make-up?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you lie to yourself and others a lot of the time?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you believe that no matter what you do, it is not good enough?
Yes ____ No ____
I am not competent. I have a hard time learning. I must have a learning disorder. I learn better by myself or I only learn when I am in a group. This is an important time for young people. They are beginning the important stage becoming an individual but if trauma was about at this age they could have developed a belligerent attitude towards new ideas, the concept of personal development or perhaps the senes of cooperation. Young ones at this age can be cruel to one another as they are so insecure. Their fear keeps them from developing quality friends or close family bonds. They tend to look at Mom and Dad as the warden and are quick to judge and condemn behavior in the world due to their internal fear. Imagine having this young child managing your mood and actions.
13- to 26-Years-Old Trauma Test
(Regeneration)
I AM MY UNIQUE SELF
Age: 13 Yrs. – 26 Yrs.
Developmental Polarity: Identity vs. Role Confusion
Ego Strength: FIDELITY
Power: REGENERATION
Relationship Issue: Independence from Family
Are you frequently in conflict with authority figures (e.g., bosses, police, or other officials)?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you feel enraged by “senseless rules and regulations” that others seem to accept?
Yes ____ No ____
When you visit your parents, do you quickly fall into the roll of the obedient (or rebellious) child?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you confused about who you really are?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you feel superior to others because your life-style is offbeat and nonconformist?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you still follow unquestioningly the religion of your youth?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you able to form close relationships only with people of the opposite sex?
Yes ____ No ____
Are all your non-work relationships with the opposite sex sexual or romantic?
Yes ____ No ____
Are you a dreamer, preferring to read romance novels or science fiction, rather than taking action in your life?
Yes ____ No ____
Do people sometimes tell you to “grow up”?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you find it almost impossible to speak your opinion when it goes against an accepted norm?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you rigidly follow a guru or hero, or are you deeply attracted to cults or secret groups?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you talk a lot about the great things you are going to do, but never do them?
Yes ____ No ____
Do you believe that no one has ever been through the things you’ve had to go through, or that no one could really understand your unique pain?
Yes ____ No ____
This young adult is individuating. She is at the stage where she needs to develop her philosophy and beliefs, her sense of “Who am I”, "What do I stand for", and ultimately "How I do life...I am ready." Without individuation she gets locked into the box of family rhetoric and historic beliefs that she may or may not agree with. She can get lost in possible persuasion issues or confusion on what life means and therefor act impulsively or negatively to disrupt the sense of dissatisfaction that permeates her inner self.
Ultimately, we don’t have to have specific recall of trauma impacts to know there was trauma. We simply look for the effects and symptoms and we know that trauma occurred.
Powerful Depression
Anxiety and Social fear
Addiction
Promiscuity
Anger and defiance
Defective principles as assets being engaged
Massively low self esteem
One or more of the instincts are hyperactive
Role Confusion
Relationship self destruction
Behavior Disorder(s)
Rampant Dishonesty
Learning Disability (without evidence of physiological issue)
Eating Disorder
The list goes on... These and other broken behaviors stem from deep seated perspective alterations from the past. As children we were wired with balance in our instincts at birth, but after we arrived the world wrote the story in our hearts and now our eyes are forever changed.
How self actions occur:
1. What we think is happening - is (to us)
2. What we think is happening creates emotion (emotions are not actions they are auto-response)
3. What we feel initiates actions (we react to the emotions we feel)
4. Action is a result of how we feel
Change how we think and we change how we act. But the world spends too much time trying to change how we feel with dysfunctional processes. We will need to act better than we think for a moment but ultimately we can’t change a broken brain with a broken brain. We all need a stable helper to guide us to restoration. We will provide the process for restoration from trauma in later modules. At the moment it is enough to know that we have it, where it stemmed from and how it is affecting us. We will not partner with reinterpretation support if we don’t agree that it is necessary and individuals won’t partner with us if we don’t have a deportment that shouts we have an answer. This is paramount to a successful consummation of the Explain Phase.
Addiction
1 out o 10 human beings is addicted to something, someone or some substance. When we say addiction we mean: Addiction is a psychological and physical inability to stop consuming a chemical, drug, activity, person or substance, even though it is causing psychological and physical harm.
Addicts don’t know that they are addicts (very often). They justify and support their habit with unusual delusion. You could meet with a homeless alcoholic in the street and say, “I could help you get freedom from your problem if you like.” They would quite often respond, “What problem?” Sober Coaching is a module that you will digest later and we can help you in developing an interventionist attitude that builds clarity for your potential addict. They must come to terms with their challenge and want help to actually benefit from any project change. Those individuals forced into recovery very often relapse. The other challenge is that once forming the habit or addiction to a particular substance or action, they will be forever addicted so the only answer is a combination of 100% abstinence and continual supportive change. Think insulin for a diabetic. They will need to take their daily medication of personal change to remain abstinent and healthy. This can be a monumental mountain to climb in the eyes of the addict. But it really isn’t. It is actually a beautiful life adventure and over time they adapt and find joy.
In this section we will give you 20 questions that you can ask your potential addict to determine if there is any sign of actual addiction. 3-4 yes answers will be signs of addiction. More suggest progressed addiction. Anything over 10 + is a strong indication that addiction is rampant and the individual is need of restoration.
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is your drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt guilt or remorse after drinking?
6. Have you ever got into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family’s welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution because of drinking?
Replace the words alcohol and drinking with whatever substance or activity that the individual may be suspected of using in a habitual manner. Then you will know what you are dealing with. These are the most disruptive conditions. Broken instincts, resentment, addiction, trauma and massive fear. Complete these 4 inventories and you will know if you have work to do before a coaching recipe is formalized. We will conduct a few more inventories in other modules but these are the primary blockers to move on first.